Thursday, November 12, 2009


So the first part of the surgery is over. If you didn’t notice, it has been sixteen days since my surgery. I chose not to write about until now because I was lost in pain! Seriously, I had no warning of how painful things would be afterward. During the first few days, I was so overtaken with pain it was hard to through the haze at the greater picture. For just a few minutes, I was asphyxiated with regret.

I can remember waiting for the surgeon was the hard part. Joshua and I had gotten to the hospital in the morning and they did a few lab tests and dressed me up in the most attractive of hospital attire. From there, we lounged around and played on our iPhones as we waited for the surgeons to be ready. My insane hunger overrode any anxiousness. Joshua read me jokes to keep the mood light. I did feel a little guilty as my eyes danced around the room and I realized I was the one non-cancer patient in the waiting room. Finally our idleness was greeted by the plastic surgeon. With a quick hug and a big kiss, I was walked to the operating room. There were so many people in there, I was thrown off. I carelessly hopped op on the table. I had expected to be given a countdown or something, but was caught off guard when I found myself slipping off to sleep.

During the surgery the surgeon removed the breast tissue and a few lymph nodes to make sure that there was no trace of cancer hiding about. All of the tissue and nodes were free from cancerous cells. I had opted for immediate reconstruction with the use of tissue expanders and Alloderm. When the breast surgeon had completed one breast, the plastic surgeon went in and placed an expander under the muscle and shaped the breast with the Alloderm. They placed drains in each of my armpits to allow the fluids to escape. The surgery lasted about six hours.

As I was trying to recall the very moment I recovered from my slumber, I couldn’t pin it. Joshua says it took me a very long time to wake up and even when I finally did muster the courage to open my eyes, I fell right back to sleep. The first thing that I can remember is being in pain. It wasn’t like giving birth, where there is a prize that sorta softens the blow, it was overwhelming. I couldn’t move and didn’t want to either! I felt like my chest was collapsing in on itself. Every breath was a struggle and I was tangled in cords and tubes. None of those support group posts could have prepared me for this feeling.

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