Saturday, November 28, 2009

EXPANSION

So I have had my second fill and am surprisingly impressed with my little boobs. They are hard as rocks and super uncomfortable, but I think they are pretty cute. Never would I have thought that I could be content with a mere handful. I am having a bit of problems with finding clothes that fit though. I am getting expanded 100ccs every week. I don't know what is normal, but from what I have found, this is pretty rapid. The process isn't too unbearable, but the persistent pressure and tightness can feel like your chest is collapsing in on itself making breathing quite a chore. I have not regained a normal range of motion and lifting anything heavier than a few pounds is impossible. My back is sore and my posture is terrible. Sleeping is also a nail in my side. I had heard that the expansion process was hard, but like everything leading up to this, I overestimated my tolerance for pain and underestimated how this procedure would affect every aspect of my life.

It is crazy though, I don't feel like my breasts are at all intimate or private. I am so used to people talking about them and doctors poking and squeezing them that I have become immune to indecency. I am always more than willing to let a curious comrade sneak a peek or cop a feel. I was sitting in the office awaiting saline torture, when I struck up a conversation with another patient lamenting in the lobby. I don't know how it got to this point, but before I knew it, my eyes were shut tight and we were giggling as she was exploring my breast with her cold hands searching for any sensation. Who'd have thought?! But like I said, they aren't me. I even catch myself walking in the mall with a boob in each palm.

Well, travel hasn't been easy being on drugs either. I am not fully alert and sorta just float through things. I fly out every Sunday and come home every Tuesday. My body tenses up as I pass through security and the lady asks me to remove my zip up jacket. Politely I decline and then fear the beeping wand. As it hovers above my bumps, I have to explain that I have expanders. I haven't had any problems yet, but I do keep the worst luck in my back pocket. I get really stiff from sitting so still and have to take my muscle relaxers with each flight.

Not too much else is exciting. I have been photo documenting the process, but want to have a more complete set before I post them. I am totally not shy about sharing! Just ask the ladies at that TaTa party... I left my computer hooked up to the TV and as the screen saver came on, I realized the girls got pretty quiet and a few even turned colors. I looked up to find a picture of my own breasts bouncing around the 56" set. Ironically, they were about life sized!

I'll keep ya ABREAST of any changes!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. You've been through a lot and the whole time you've been positive and upbeat. You're amazing. I read every word and was amazed at your strength.
Hope you're happy with the end result when you get there. I'm sure you'll still have a nice rack! haha
Sarah T

Dennis Pyritz, RN said...

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