Saturday, August 15, 2009

Titillation!

Finally, some good news! I had visited Banana Hands and much to my surprise, he was pleasant and I didn't have to show him my boobs to get what I wanted! I did, however, have to wait a whole agonizing hour until he sauntered into my dungeon. Within ten minutes I was out the door with a smile on my face... again, that doesn't happen much without having to give 'em a show! Anyhow, he sent in two referrals one for a breast surgeon and the other for a plastic surgeon. I will be seen at Swedish Cancer Center in Seattle, Washington. I was super happy to hear that I would be going to Swedish because TriCare had told me that I would only be allowed to be seen at Madigan Army Hospital. Not that I don't have confidence in military doctors, but I can rest easier knowing that seeing a team of doctors that specialize in this field and not feel a tingle in their pants when they talk about nipples.

I was sure it would take a few weeks for the referral to go through, but like a flash flood the phone rang and I was drowning in confusion. My doctor called to tell me I had two appointments for the 24th. I assumed this was the twenty fourth day of September, but was mistaking. You know what they say about assuming; I don't but I know it has something to do with an ass. Yeah, so I will be flying to Seattle for just the consultation and will have lots of news and information to share soon.

I am stoked, you know, we don't use that word too much anymore! I am completely sure I have made the right decisions for me. I am also happy that I was unable to do the surgeries in Arizona because I think that I am much better off in the hands of Swedish Medical Center. For those of you that don't know, my mother had spent several days there doing her stem cell transplant.

I know people think I am crazy because I talk about boobs all day long; even to complete strangers. I didn't really think of it until today because one of Joshua's friends was over for a few minutes while I was doing a fire inspection. That sounds like a weird reason, but here's how it works. While I am talking to this inspector, I am hyper aware of what Tyler is hearing, so I pay particular attention. Of course the conversation turns to boobs. You can get any, and I mean any guy to talk about their favorite topic. So I tell this guy my story and sing my little song. Meanwhile, I become aware that Tyler is there and it sorta makes me feel uncomfortable. Not because I am talking about breasts and nipples, but because I finally realize that this truly is an obsession and I can't not talk about them. I am just like a dude! Oh well. Maybe in some odd way it helps ease some of the anxieties I have and help me convince myself I am doing the right thing. Besides, guys are so much easier to talk to about boobs. It's already the number one thing on their mind, so it's easy to get them going... conversationally. Girls, however, are a different story. Most women tend to think I am crazy for getting rid of my perfect pair. Maybe the boys do too, but they just like having open dialog about tits.

I'll keep y'all posted with more titillating tales within the next few weeks.

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